Jehovah Rapha

He Listens

For a couple of months, my heels had known no peace. I had knocked on doors of renowned doctors, popped dozens of pills, had my blood drawn until I was now anemic, and had several CT scans and X-rays under my belt. I had a chest cough that just wouldn't respond to medication. I had been put severally on what the medics termed as the most potent antibiotics, but the cough kept getting worse. While sitting on the chair, I had my Tuberculosis results and they were negative. Needless to say, my mind was racing for answers.

My turn with the doctor came. This particular doctor and I had at one point brushed shoulders based on his style of dealing with patients. He had an arrogant, dismissive demeanor that was not sitting well with me and other patients. We told him to the manager and he had been suspended for some weeks. Seeing him again made my gut turn. He went through the results and confirmed what had been written. He took a deep breath and looking at the computer monitor told me I had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). I was glad that at least I had a diagnosis. Beaming with hope I inquired about the treatment. His face told it all. It had no cure. I remember shouting in my head…'digithia goma- get behind me satan'…as I locked eyes with the doctor. I am not certain if I was telling the doctor or the devil inside the doctor. As I checked out of the hospital with supportive therapy drugs and an inhaler, my heart was heavy.

Were my sins catching up with me? Was God punishing me? Is this how I was going to die? What grave mistake had I committed against Yahweh? My mind was plagued with unanswerable questions. Before the COPD diagnosis, I had been slapped with a Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) diagnosis. How much worse could it get? Even though my family tried to comfort me, I felt alone and defeated. I was mad at God. It seemed He had abandoned me.

… 'Eloi!Eloi! Lama sabachthani?'…

There were days when I would cough out blood. Most of the days it was very heavy sputum. I had to warm everything I took, including drinking water lest I coughed myself silly. Things as simple as cold doorknobs or cold water flowing from a tap could trigger the cough. The icing on the cake was that the cough would cause a severe headache on top of the pre-existing pain that came as a result of Chiari Malformation type 1. Ooops, that was another medical diagnosis that I forgot to mention earlier, utmost apologies.

I had cried and prayed to God to heal me, but nothing happened. My parents laid hands on me in prayer. All seemed in vain. As time elapsed, I made peace with all the diagnoses I had been given. I had learned to own the diseases. Sometimes I would use the diseases as an excuse to avoid accountability. We were friends now. If I did not want to partake in something I would get my medical records out and the other party would have to comply. I was not proud of this but at least it worked to my advantage.

Fast forward to 2019, I got a chance to go to Israel. I had initially wanted to pass on the opportunity but being a technologically advanced nation, I believed they would be able to cure all the diseases I had with their medical advancements. If the technology failed, at least a touch from Abraham's descendants would do the trick. I was a frequent visitor to the hospital and the nurse soon knew my name. After a lot of pushing, one of the lead doctors was put on my case and he even brought back up-another doctor. I was made to do a lot of breathing exercises and had gadgets placed on my hands and through my mouth to measure my lungs' functionality. Once again, my case defeated them. I was only told that my lungs had lost most of their efficiency. I was scheduled to visit one of the nation's leading pulmonologists. But, with corona taking a toll on Israel, the pulmonologist was fully booked and my hopes of being slated in for a full checkup soon died. In retrospect, I believe that was God's doing.

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There were days when I was so mad at God that I did not want to hear or see anyone praise Him. The pent-up anger was turning into envy/jealousy. I believe this is the case for many of us believers. When we see the prayers of others around us being answered yet God is silent on our requests, it is easy to be filled with envy. This ought not to be the case. God's timing and mode of action are different from ours. It requires God's grace and patience to sit still and wait on Him. Having caught myself severally feeling envious, I brought it up to the Lord in prayer. I wanted God to deal with this vile character that was forming roots in me. Sure enough, He showed up and reminded me that He still loved me and my answer was on the way. Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God!

Even though I had not managed to sort the COPD issue, my stay in Israel strengthened the relationship I had with my Potter. The Holy Spirit brought to light areas in my life that grieved Him through dreams and His word and taught me to do better. He still does even to date. With all honesty, I was sad that I was going back home just as I came health-wise but I was glad that my relationship with God was healthy. My body was ill but my spirit was glowing. God had given me peace in my pain.

The day was Monday,8th November 2021. I had spent time listening to one of Pastor T Mwangi's sermons on understanding dreams. I suddenly felt a very strong urge to pray over my family and myself. I tried to shake it off but the urge kept growing stronger and I gave in. As I prayed, I broke down and kept asking God to free me and my family from diseases amongst other things. On the very night after saying my prayers, I felt a sharp pain across my pelvic region and in my chest. I curled up to ease the pain that lasted at least 2 minutes. I didn't think much of it and slept. Unknown to me, Yeshua was at work, breaking the chains of PCOS and COPD. Healing was being released from heaven.

The revelation of my healing came on 15th November 2021. I was journaling on God's goodness when it hit me I had not coughed the previous week. Like a doubting Thomas, I gave God (the audacity) one week to establish that this was His doing and not a coincidence. To prove that He was behind the healing, He went ahead to award Thomas' sister with the lady in red. It had been ages since I had last seen this lady. I was dumbfounded.

Isaiah 60:22 When The Time Is Right I,The Lord Will Make It Happen

For 4 years, I had spent a lot of resources trying to win my health back. I somewhat believed the answers and healing were with human beings even though I prayed. Prayer was my last recourse and not my first resource. I believe in those 4 years God was dealing with my spiritual ailments. He was dealing with my pride, doubt, fear, hypocrisy amongst other ailments. My relationship with Him right now is wholesome compared to 4 years back when I saw Him as a father Christmas. I believe this is a fact to most of us Christians. We may do this unknowingly. We may be worshiping God not for who He is but for what He offers. The Holy Spirit exposed this weakness that He found in me. As much as I claimed to love and worship God for who He is, my actions spoke volumes. Take a minute and honestly examine yourself. Invite the Holy Spirit to help in this soul examination. Is God a means to an end to you? If God makes you wait for years, will you sit still in His presence or murmur?

I am basking in my newfound clean bill of health. I can now comfortably sip a glass of cold water on a hot/cold day and not cough; I can touch cold surfaces once again! What seemed normal to others, I could not do for years. I have been given another shot at life for a reason. One of them is to spread hope that God is still on His throne and He hears our prayers. I now believe that when God seems to be silent, He is busy working behind the scenes for our good. He will always come through for us. We just need to trust, pray, obey and be patient. The job, healing, finances, stable relationship may not be forthcoming but keep praying. If the unjust judge, in the parable of Yeshua, could grant justice to the widow, won't Yahweh who is just do more? The prayers don't have to be super long with complicated diction. A simple Spirit-filled and heartfelt prayer, He still listens to. Brethren, keep praying! He is listening.